Vacation

Headed out to Sea.  See you when I get back!

What's Going On

Here are the words that are dominating my thoughts these days:

Ask yourself if what you're doing today will take you where you want to be tomorrow...
The only difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do!
Stop looking back. You're not going that way!

Happy 4th of July

On this date in...

1911 U.S.A. Deadly Heat Wave 4th July 1911 : Following a deadly heat wave in the northeastern United States including New York, Philadelphia and many other cities temperatures reached 106 degrees Fahrenheit in Nashua, New Hampshire. The heat wave caused the death of 380 people through heatstroke.

1932 U.S.A. Hours Cut To Save Jobs 4th July 1932 : The plan by many organizations, companies and Government Departments to cut the number of hours worked or days worked by those in current employment, this provides better chances for workers of staying employed and also should help with those seeking work in these testing times. Feelings are mixed with many of those in work concerned about the drop in wages but in general the plan is accepted as a way forward out of the current problems facing the country. 

1946 Philippines Independence 4th July 1946 : The Philippines became a self-governing nation after 48 years of U.S. sovereignty.

1968 UK Alec Rose Arrives Home 4th July 1968 : Alec Rose on his 36ft ketch 'Lively Lady' receives a hero's welcome as he sailed into Portsmouth Harbour after his 354-day round-the-world trip. Unlike many of the earlier and later solo trips around the world Alec Rose did not have large corporate sponsors and had truly sailed round the world on his own. He was knighted the next day to become Sir Alec Rose for his achievement. 

1969 U.S.A. Atlanta International Pop Festival 4th July 1969 : Atlanta International Pop Festival held at Atlanta International Raceway featuring some of the great names in music at the time including Janis Joplin, Blood, Sweat & Tears, Canned Heat, Joe Cocker, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and Led Zeppelin attracts 100,000 even in temperatures nearing 100 degrees. The concert was billed as a great success with peace, harmony and great music .

1998 My nephew Cal was born.

2013 I did not sleep a wink last night nor this morning.  Oh, what a day this is going to be.   Perhaps I shall nap while floating in the pool at the party I'm going to.  Especially if there are those floaty raft things with a beer caddy.

Wordless Wednesday

The Brass Ring

I'm sharing writer Anne Lamott's Facebook post here.  I have a love/hate thing with her work.  She comes off as incredibly self-indulgent at times, to the point of embarrassment.  And yet...her writing is compelling and speaks to me of how raw and open our hearts are.  Perhaps it is that quality in myself that I struggle with: feeling RAW.  Always reaching for the brass ring of mental balance and peace.  I think I'm alone in this, and then I talk to someone, or read a post like this one.  I am not alone, and I would do well to remember this when I get bereft.  I wish I didn't have "bereft" as the default mode, but there it is.  There is no perfection in this life.  The brass ring is usually just out of reach.  When you do manage to snag it, you immediately throw it into the clown's mouth.

Anne Lamott

"I got to do a once-in-lifetime writerly thing last week, one of those high octane events where you just KNOW you will feel completely better about yourself for the rest of your life in every way, because it means you will have truly 

 arrived...And I got VERY lost. It has taken me four days, two Kissing dogs, church, three hikes, two huggy girlfriends, and two visiting brothers for me to get found.

My entire life I have believed that there was something I could achieve, own, lease or date that would make me feel permanently whole, and I'm pretty sure that this side of eternity, this will be my default mode. If only THIS would happen, or if only that would fall into place, or if I just met the right person, or got the right review, or got to live in a house with a fill-in-the-blank....

But the horrible truth of life is that this whole less, being friends with your own heart, is ALWAYS going to be an inside job.

I so hate and resent this. I DO NOT AGREE TO THIS.

I want it to be out there, where I can go get it, and put it in my car, with the seatbelt buckling it is so I will never be without it again.

Like it would be so much skin off God's teeth to let me track it down in the realms of power, prestige, stature, money, weight, and Macy's.

But nooooooooooo.

Last week, when I was having the experience that almost every writer longs for, I got as mental and confused and low self-esteem as I've been in a while. And everyone I was with was extremely sweet, smart and affirming. It was the damn system that failed, the system I was raised believing in, that I can achieve and impress and people-please SO successfully, that I will finally get the seal of approval sufficient to fill the Swiss cheesey holes in my soul. I will have arrived, finally. Yay

During this pretty high-falutin' experience under the bright lights, w/ kind smart people and FABULOUS make-up, I felt like I'd 9 cups of coffee, two bags of candy corn, a box of chocolate truffles-- Heaven, right? I love being out of my body, tripping on my own fabulousness, mood-altered to within an inch of my life. And then guess what happened? You're going to hate this

It ended. Yes! My turn was over. All the smart kind people--and even my make-up person--TRAITOR!--went on to the next person.

And then there was just me, even more needy, worried, and self-doubting than usual--had I talked too much? Too fast? I had meant to sound like a cross between Gloria Steinem and Ram Dass--but had just sounded like a very caffeinated ME. Regular old human me, beautiful, slightly nuts, flawed. Trying to tell my truth about God and being human, in my own voice.

Sigh. Then I flew home, to my dogs, my life, my writing, church, etc, and I drank a lot of water, and my friends loved me out of ALL sense of proportion, and I got to do the sacraments that save me--plop and putter. Reading to my grandson. 

Radical self-care--lots of rest, Wimbledon, salads, rubbing lotion into my fabulous jiggly thighs. Eating delicious low-sugar life-giving foods, with perhaps an excess of cherries and peaches. Okay, and plums. And that one night w/some See's. Getting a little writing done EVERY day, by pre-arrangement with myself, as a debt of honor. Teaching my Sunday school kids, that they are loved and chosen, safe beyond all understanding, and that to be alive in a miracle. Home! In my funny gorgeous dumb puttery life! Sweeping the kitchen, singing along with the Beatles. Hallelujah, and wow, and thank you thank you thank you."

 

Dawgs

This is one of my all-time favorite animal pictures.  My little three-legged Lucy was being stalked by vicious Shirley (RIP).

I spent time at the SPCA today walking and playing with puppies.  I haven't done that aspect of volunteering for quite awhile, because frankly it tugged at my heart strings too much.  Today, however, since I was already our there doing a delivery, a decided to cuddle some dogs.  Oh!  How I miss them.  I lost all my pets in my divorce, and though I would really love to have Lucy back in my life, I'm guessing my ex would say no.  Lucy is also great good friends with the other dogs in the house, so it would be unfair to pull her apart from her bonded buddies.  But...I do so miss her big dark eyes and warm body that loved to cuddle. 

I think there is a dog in my future...I hope there is.  There's a cute Chihuahua mix at the shelter named Bullet, and he's a quiet, sweet little guy.  It took all my resolve today to walk out of there without the adorable Bullet.  Sigh....

San Francisco Dyke March

The ride on BART was hell on earth.  Seriously - the air conditioning was not working!  After enduring half the ride with determination to just get there, we abandoned ship and stepped onto the cool breezy platform and waited for a second train with real actual functioning air conditioning.   Whew.









Dolores Park was chock full of people, music, swag vendors and bacon-wrapped hothogs every 20 feet or so.  Not a Vegan's paradise, but the dogs were really good.

So, this Dyke March, apparently not just for dykes anymore, but oh well.  I've never been to a women's music festival, and I thought this would be akin to that.  But no, lots of dudes. One guy in a mesh bathing suit bottom -- I can never unsee that now that I have seen it.  Argh.''

Never mind, there were plenty of gorgeous woman in various states of undress, proudly showing what the Good Lord gave 'em.

I loved all the folks hanging out their windows with signs and throwing beads to us in the crowd!

I loved all the bare breasted women delighting in their nakedness...hmmm makes me wonder if an all nude Dyke March is in the future.  Not that I would join in, just sayin.....


Estimates were 200,000 attended.  Dolores Park was swamped.  A little too much for me, but I had to try it once, you know?

A good day, all in all.  And certainly my friends that went with me made it a whole lotta fun.  And for a brief moment there, I could fantasize that we did, indeed, take over the world.  Rainbow Warriors, all.